Living with Christ



September 2013 - butterfly flied in when I lost hope. Week later another butterfly at work, open window on 3d floor in the city. Since then many butterflies came along. Posing for pictures.



Nun school in Croatia. Pic right is Grgur Ninski, who took a stand against the church as he wanted the people to be able to read the bible in their own language.





1997 Birth of my son. When I was young I knew I would give birth to a boy with blond hair and blue eyes. Hence in his birthcard I had added the text 'predestined, so he came'. Long before it was official the baby would be a boy, I had enlisted him at a daycare center (you had to reserve a place beforehand) with his full name. 



2012 ~ (visible) company after request prayer in 2012. Someone wanted to visit haunted houses to make pictures. I said, those are demons. Come to me and I'll show you good spirits for your pictures. 

I don't think we stopped taking these sort of pics since then
Calling upon spirits is babylonian bullshit and invites assholes. But with faith as a mustard seed you can move mountains.

I did fool around often, like asking a colleague at work to let the energy form as I described it, sniff her sandwich for the pic.

Spirits like laughter too, joy, etc. And since they are tagging along anyway I might as well have some fun.

Ezekiel 1:16 This was the appearance and structure of the wheels: They sparkled like topaz...Each appeared to be made like a wheel intersecting a wheel.
Ezekiel 1:18 Their rims were high and awesome, and all four rims were full of eyes all around.
Ezekiel 1:20 Wherever the spirit would go, they would go, and the wheels would rise along with them, because the spirit of the living creatures was in the wheels.


2008 ~ I've seen an angel (Split, Podstrana) after request in prayer (I was afraid), a huge white serene feature, medium long hair, 'dress', male, bare feet, that covered me with its huge wings. Years after a picture was made of the room. Where the angel stood a blue glow was shown. 

As soon as I realised that what I afraid was from wasn't something I could confront as it was not from this planet, I had asked specifically and directly to God to send help/an angel. The fear was replaced by intense serenity when within a second, this white angelic figure stood in the room. It came towards me, sat on my bed and bowed, covering me with its wings. It was the last time I was afraid, now God only I "fear".

Split is a very special city. The soil is soaked with blood of the saints. The biggest persecutions ever in history against Christians took place there. 

2009 ~  requested company after prayer (I was depressed) in Wallonia. 

I went for this walk and asked God or his angels to accompany me. Depression fell upon me hard as I was confronted with earthly things; someone who had everything, many friends, money and property, overall success. And I, getting older, still had 'nothing'. He asked me 1 question only. He said, would you trade everything the person has for what you have? 
I immediately said no and understood. So quickly the depression was gone and I started to enjoy the walk. 

As I was walking and talking I found this little church and felt the need to go inside. Inside, I felt the need to sit down but I was afraid I would break the chair so didn't. When I came home, only then I noticed that where my feelings were the strongest in that conversation, the lights are shown on the pics.



2015 ~ Don Poek was given a short time to live.  I prayed intensly, and in the evening in which I intensified my prayer a light showed up that has not left D.P. for seven months. Until the day that it was his time to go. He went to get his wings and seek us the best bed to sleep in so we can watch birds together when I join him.


Prayer on top of mountain 2016


In 2006 I had a dream about the Machu Picchu. I wrote a poem about it and was seeking an image to publish next to it. Instead I found another poem from a native warrior. After 1 year I sent him a letter introducing myself as the dream and his poem didn't leave my mind. Via him, I met a greater spiritual person named Coyote, part Cherokee/French. We were like one, albeit so far away - we met in a dream once (astral travel? seems so unreal, but we were both there..) and he would often send me letters with advice about things that were actually taking place in my life and he could not have known off. 
James Anderson Coyote, my spiritual brother in Christ, my friend. 
One evening he was praying for me and when he opened his eyes again he found a ravens feather in front of him. He sent it to me as he believed it was meant for me, I still have it and carry it with me when I travel. 

One day I was writing an Christian article about drugs. I felt blocked when mentioning a variety of drugs so I stopped writing. The next morning going to work I spot this thing on a hill coming out of the grass catching my eye. What is it that grows in one night? A mushroom.. In the evening before writing again the bible fell open on the page about manna. And then I knew why I saw the mushroom earlier that day. 

Everything God does is a natural process that is created with a godly spark. The human was made out of dirt (Genesis), manna was created from nature and instructed by God to eat. In Exodus we can see very clearly what happended: the birds leave the poop on the soil, in one night the bread grew and God (dew) came in a cloud. If God had not shown me the mushroom and let the bible fell open on the page I would have never imagined.

Exodus 16 > the LORD unto Moses, Behold, I will rain bread from heaven for you > And it came to pass, that at even the quails came up, and covered the camp: and in the morning the dew lay round about the host. And when the dew that lay was gone up, behold, upon the face of the wilderness there lay a small round thing, as small as the hoar frost on the ground... 



I've had money to the last cent deposited on my bank account which I asked for (not for me) twice, in 1997 and in 2005. Two witnesses by the by (both times one), my ex and my lawyer.

I've seen someone fall in 2013, and in that time I could do things/walk around and actually think what I should be doing to help this man. In other words; I had TIME, as if time for me was slow and for the man was just 'normal'. We know there are many dimensions, but this to me is irrefutable proof that you can 'travel' thru time. Somehow.  

2014 Whatever/whoever it is in my home, this particular year I've seen it feeding my cat Poek. In 2015 they play a lot with the youngest one.
2018  Michaela is speaking with ? in the night. At least two nights I have heard and seen it.

Tibetan monk in 2005. Called me in the crowded city with an astonished look on his face, pointing 'you are very lucky'. I know I replied and went my way. He just caught me in a conversation with..
2016 second time, again a Tibetan monk. Of course not the same one. So weird. How can people have a conversation with each other without speaking. The understanding, calmness and serenity surprised us both. How can we from different faith systems connect so perfectly.

19 June 2016. Day of full energy, lightflashes and all, everything which contains a bit of energy went off. Climax between 23-24.00. Made pictures, house was full of lights. No idea why.

2006. I was in grief and walked into the librairy. A dark man immediately stood up from his chair, took my hand and gave me a book. He said, this is for you. It was Kalil Gibran's Mirrors of the Soul. I felt instant relief. Wish I had looked at the mans face, a stranger.

2006. The Greek. The homeless Greek. Long story. But even my friend who is no Christian, is convinced this man was an angel. The look in his eyes, the words out of his mouth. The time stood still when he spoke and his hair seemed silver. He wanted nothing, and had nothing. His last words were God is Great.

2014 I've seen 3 doors in the clouds. Feeding the birds you are used to them flying above your head. I looked up and then my eye caught these 3 huge doors in the sky and Im not talking about door shaped clouds. 

2012 ~ In a moment of sadness surrounded by industrial property and hasty superficial car drivers a white bird, tiny, white with sparkles like when the sun shines upon snow, like a small king, a feathered angel, appeared in front of me out of the blue and sat on a branch. Till this very day I have not found which bird this could have been. It lifted my mood as it showed that even amidst darkness, a miracle even tiny, can appear and not all is lost - have trust.

1998 Bit reluctant to share the story, but here it goes. A superficial girl at work annoyed me for a time as she was a real copycat. And a lot of envy. That friday before going home as she was bragging once again about going out with her perfect boyfriend I wished an accident would befall upon her so she would learn about priorities in life. Like a car accident in which her face would be scarred. Only so she would become beautiful inside first. After the weekend she did not show up at work. The next day also not. I knew .. I just knew. After a few days I had to ask, else it would be strange that I did not ask where she was. My employer told me she had been in an car accident and that she flee with her face thru the window. She came later at work, weeks later. Scars on her face. Crying that her boyfriend left her because he was only interested in her appearance. I knew wounds would heal and that what she would learn was of great value. Such as.. humbleness. 

1994 Foretell dream. Was getting ready, like David against Goliath. In the dream I was warned not to use the fire (aka the stone), but to use water, else it would be used against me. The next day I was surrounded by fire - thank God I had the water with me. Like the car accident this is one incident in which no real harm  is done and the main goal was a lesson. Tough love extrema.

My love life, or lack of, is a story on its own surrounded by many foretell dreams and such, like walking on a magical cord amidst a dark reality. A frame without a picture. 

1996 ~ Justifiable rage (forgot which year exactly, think it was ’96). I was asked by X to join her at least once at her church service. I did. But when I came inside the building I felt I was getting angry. When the service began, I felt as if I was on fire and when the women started singing it felt as if demons were attacking my ears. I cursed and ran out of the church as I excused myself to X while crying as X came after me. I was so ashamed that I could not control my behaviour at times. Later we found out the church was rated number 1 on the list of dangerous cults.  



Vision during meditation. A leaf of a green plant, sharp edges. My finger was cut because of the sharpness, the blood dripped from the leaf – small nice beautiful red drops of blood fell on the ground and then flew in the air. I focused on these drops that clinked together  and then formed a red lotus - which opened. And then fell apart – and again the red blood balls – drops clinked together and a red lotus was formed and opened  his leafs. Have been lookin at it for a while – and then it was gone. Lotus of blood



Dream when I was a child ~ dreaming of a rainbow waterfall in the clouds

This dream occurred when I was a small child. I dreamed that I was on a day out with the school, all children were there. We were walking among hills and I enjoyed nature while the other kids were playing around and talking. At some point I isolated myself from the others by climbing on a big hill while my eyes captured the most beautiful thing I have ever seen in my dreams – it was magical. In the air there was a huge cloud, heart shaped. In the middle of the heart water fell down and the water had the colors of the rainbow. I felt as I had been looking at it for ages when I woke up, the whole dream I had been gazing at this magnificent sight.

2008 ~ Compassion, Gods pink napkin

As if I was flying invisible over the world, I saw various sceneries. At some point I was flying amidst clouds, then the forests, then next to some creek where shaolins in orange clothing as monks jumped out all at the same time out of the water as if they all caught something in the air, separately. Then all of a sudden, I was in the universe among stars and watched how an old friendly bold headed man, in monk robe like Lao Tzu picked up the oceans and green from the globe, mother earth and pulled it as if it was some blanket. He pulled it towards him smiling softly and wrapped it up, it became smaller and smaller and the blanket became a pink napkin. When he closed his hands with the napkin in it, he again opened it and the pink napkin turned into a pink butterfly and flew away. It was compassion.


2004 ~ Stepping out of a dream

I was at my mothers house. When I came in, the door opened itself, lights turned on, music started to play, as if the universe followed my steps and invited me, embraced me. Suddenly I was attacked by my sister (no, we have no arguments) and she tried to strangle me by choking me. But it was not her, it was as if she was possessed. I felt a huge strong force, and then I laughed. I looked with the corner of my eye and saw the front door open, but no one was there in the darkness. But I felt a presence. I laughed and said, I am stronger than you. I said, watch me. I opened my eyes, still laughing and said while being awake, having pulled myself from that dream: you see, I am stronger than you.


2005 ~ Dream of angel Gabriel 

I asked God to speak to Gabriel. In my dream, Gabriel came and we spoke, well, he spoke I listened for many hours. It was a long night and he did not gave me the answers I wanted to hear. After waking up, I ran to the bathroom as I wanted to throw up. He announced a loss. What is interesting is that before I felt asleep, deep into this dream, I was awoken by a flash of light in the room. No car passed by or so. Then I fell asleep, and then this conversation that felt as if it took ages took place.


1994 ~ Visit from a dead friend

He committed suicide. I did not know his mental state of mind, he had hidden it from me and we were young. He was always helpful and cheerful, I loved him very much as a friend. He was Italian, but did not believe in God. When I visited his grave alone, I layed roses at his grave, a big bouquet with symbolic meanings – friendship, love, peace and a card with angels on it – even though he did not believe. I cried for days. Where will he end up I asked myself. That night I cried myself to sleep. In the dream, he came to me out of a white, soft light and we were surrounded by this – white peaceful light. He came to me, took me in his arms and hugged me. I felt my tear rolling down his cheek as we hugged so firmly. He said, it’s good here while smiling. Then I woke up, with a feeling of peace.


2005 ~ Dream of the bloody bride

In the dream I was looking at a bride running from her chasers, men who wanted to kill her. At first she ran beside a pool, then she was running up and down hills, running to the highest mountain. Then she stopped. As if I was standing next to her while before I was looking at it as from above, she looked at me. Then she turned around, and I saw that her whole beautiful white gown from the back was all red. She was stabbed in the back several times and the blood had made the whole back red. The men then approached, and she looked at me for a second, then spread her arms, face towards the men, she let herself fall off the mountain into the ocean beneath, she jumped towards her own death. When her body hit the water, the whole ocean turned all red.


1998 ~ Dreaming of Hell cause of a Sin

I was a young girl when I had this dream, if I recall. I was like most young women into my looks, went every week to the solar to get a tan and so on. There was an action in a store in which you could buy gold very cheap. I bought jewelry every week and every week I was spending money to get jewelry repaired. I was in a gold frenzy. Until that dream. In this dream I was walking into some kind of cave, it was dark, many entrances. In the middle there was the devil, a dark long figure, hairy, thin, it grabbed me and I wanted to escape and started to push but he hold on to me tight. With one of his hairy long dark arms he held mine firmly, so I bit him in the arm in my attempt to get loose. His flesh was soft so I had bitten a piece of his arm which immediately started to rot in my mouth and turned into worms. I was disgusted by this smell and feeling in my mouth that I started to throw up, while he let loose. I was throwing up jewelry. Then I woke up and knew that I was a sinner although I convinced myself I was just liking those things. It was the last piece of gold jewelry I ever bought for myself (1998..)


1999 ~ Dream of seven years

It was November 1999 and I dreamed that I was in my old parents house in my old bedroom. No one beside me was there, all lights I had turned off as there were seven tall men in the garden and walking around the house. I was slightly afraid and looked carefully behind the curtain of my window. Then I decided to confront my fear, was impatient to wait any longer in the dark. I went downstairs and opened the back door. While I opened the door I was stabbed in the hand seven times. I drew my hand back and saw seven wounds, seven cuts, bleeding. Then a hand from the man outside who waited behind that door stepped forwards and laid his hand on mine. He caressed the hand with his and I saw the seven wounds healing and disappearing. I wanted to see the face of this man, this shadow in garment who had healed my hand – but then I woke up.


2005 ~ of Jesus on the Cross 

It was a hard time. That night I dreamed of being hanged on the cross, I was hit in the face many times with a whip and felt the blood dripping from my face. It did not hurt, only the heart ached. In the corner of my eye I saw another man hanging. I lifted slowely my head and looked at my right side and saw Jesus hanging on his cross next to me. He looked at me, his eyes were peaceful, mild white light around him, blood on his face, head and hands, he smiled, then bended his head down and died. He died peacefully, the pain was nothing compared to the love that dominated, silent suffering – not for himself, but for them, as they did not know what they were doing. Out of love we endure all. It's obvious that Jesus knew exactly why he was dying. And his last words could have never been 'father why have you forsaken me'!


Foretell dreams. This is my favorite one.

Think it was 2006, could be 2005 too. Someone was lost out of my sight. I needed to know what was going on – thus asked the Lord to explain to me what was going on. I dreamed that night a naked peacock. I was walking on the hills and found feathers of a peacock all around me. Then I looked for the peacock and saw him naked standing on a distance. He was shy and his head was bowed – he was ashamed. I started to pick up the feathers and when I collected them all, I walked towards the peacock and placed them all in front on him, not looking at him directly but in the corner of my eye, I saw that he was grateful. When I woke up, I knew. It was pride. I had hurt the pride of this person. It was such a big force in this person that those feathers really mattered. The wise though knows - it’s not only feathers that make fine birds.


2006 ~ Machu Picchu

The next day I found out that this place is called the Machu Picchu in Peru. I was standing there at that mountain and the clouds surrounding me contained little lights, in soft colors. Yellow, green, blue, pink, white, orange, they danced in these clouds around – and above me. When I stepped towards a cloud in front of me and wanted to touch it, the lights clinked all together in that cloud and I reached out to touch it but they would not let me touch them as if they were only playing. 


2007 ~ A church in Croatia

There are always 4 places where I return in dreams. The first is the mountains, then the woods, then the parental home (my mothers house), and last one a church. In a former dream I wanted to grab a snack, so I went in my dream deliberately to this place where I knew I was before and could eat. It was the church, it has become a known place for me in my dreams. Can you imagine falling asleep, dreaming about being hungry and returning to a place of where you know you had been sitting before/dreamed before and going inside sitting on the same table just to eat. In one dream I was once again in the church. It was dark and I went inside passing a big statue. It is the church in Split (Croatia-Dalmatia)and the statue is Gregory of Nin.

I went inside to get me 2 charms, to protect two friends (well, for one sinner and one relative although they seemed to be for me somehow) against something – don’t know what anymore.
I have thought long and hard about this, but when I die, I want no grave since the world knows human waste that desecrate graves. I want to be burned and my ashes to be thrown on the Dalmatian soil, Split in particular, (half in the mountains, half in the sea) the holy ground of which the soil is soaked with the blood of christian martyrs. The biggest persecution on christians ever in history took place in Split, during the reign of Dioklecijan.

another recurring dream is one on which I swing on a single rope. The rope is in heaven, and in the dream I don’t look up or think about the fact that it’s weird to have a rope as a vessel. With it I cross the ocean, visit relatives and escape enemies. By a single jump high in the air holding on the rope and then coming down miles away walking on walls


2008 ~ Struck and followed by lightening

It was dark outside, a tremendous power in the air, a powerful strong lightening that I never have seen before. The lightening, as if all the power in the universe where combined in it, struck me and I tried to get away from it but it followed me. I tried to run to a really big tree in the hope it would struck the tree but there was no escape, no matter where I tried to run to. It was as if I was some magnetism and it was drawn to me. Looking behind, I saw that everywhere I had walked, the magnetic lightening helixes were following me just like when oil is fueled and the fire walks its path. When I looked behind me at some point again, I saw that everywhere I had walked, was burning, a sea of flames was chasing me and the sea of flames had a face, as if it was lead. It was not a scary dream, it was a powerful dream and I felt as if it was a competition of forces.




One night  dreamed I was a dark blue jaguar with golden nails. I would run thru the jungle, so hard. The next morning I had lost all the rage I felt the day before.

I would always have nightmares about sharks. They would eat everybody around me and then swin towards me, before I woke up. 
One night I decided to confront my fear and let the shark come towards me. He did not eat me, he swam beside me, I held on to his fin and we swam together. That was the last nightmare I had about sharks. 

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